It Is Well

What once was, will be again

Issue VIII // May 2024

I've written this before and it all still rings true: life has not gone according to plan; and I can hardly believe everything that has been going on. Even though I saw a shadow of my future as I was growing up, the reality has turned out to be something quite different. I am now going on two and a half years married and being here in Uganda with Sam. I initially thought we would spend one year in Uganda, be on our way to America for a few years, and then spend time going between our two home countries, and maybe to other places as well. However, it now seems like we will be here for three years before coming to America together, or even longer. As time moves forward, we continue to wait for Sam's spousal visa interview.

{If anyone has some Nairobi embassy connections, feel free to give us that info!}

In the meantime, life has not stopped. Of course, with Nicolette entering our lives, things have changed drastically for me. I am no longer volunteering with the midwives, helping with YWAM's accounting and pre/primary school, leading the worship team, and I'm not able to be at the kids and youth church programs so often either. I've really seen that motherhood is an all-consuming state, and I've taken a major step back from volunteering to learn how to be a mom for the first time - away from my own mom, family members and friends, and home country. It has been a huge learning curve, on many levels, and it hasn't been easy. With the help of Sam, his family, local friends, and some of the youth girls, I've been able to navigate this new stage in life. Of course, I am still in touch with all of my America people and they are a great support, but it's different online. Instead of going out, it seems my ministry at this time is more for our baby, my husband, and the youth girls that have taken turns visiting and staying with us. I also hope to continue meeting the Daze of Glory girls in the holidays as we do devotions, learn baking and painting, dancing, and spending time in fellowship and "life lessons." I have returned to the planning committee for the monthly Ladies Fellowship. It's a great time of meeting other local and foreign missionaries and learning from one another. I have never been a homebody, but I'm trying to learn how to be still and take life slower and less active in this season.

As much as I would love to have Sam home with us all day, I know he also has a lot of work to do. He has taken on the role of youth pastor, in addition to being the children's pastor, and jumped into this new role with energy and a big vision. It is always amazing to see the love and heart he gives to every ministry he does, and I am constantly inspired by him. The children and youth, as well as the other adults that work alongside him on the committee, love and look up to him as well. He officially launched his own ministry last year (TWIC-Arts), but it's actually just putting down on paper the things he has been doing for over a decade. TWIC-Arts [True Worship In Creative Arts] is about training kids to worship God and to serve others with their individual talents. This ranges from teaching and supporting them in music and dancing to sports to public speaking, etc... The holidays after the first term have just started, so the students are home from boarding schools and the days are busy! Sam has gone through some additional classes for teaching the kids, and he has been able to use that training and the materials to assist other leaders, including at other churches. His business takes time too (though things haven't been going so easy there). The Good News football club (soccer team) is having a busy season, and I've been able to take Nicolette out to watch some of the practices and games. Thankfully, Sam hasn't had any major injuries this season, and I pray that continues! I had heard of sports ministries before coming to Uganda, but it's been cool to see it in action as the team goes out to show God's love through sports/ sportsmanship.

With all of this busyness, things came to an abrupt standstill at the beginning of March. Sam's father was attacked by some gang members early one morning in front of his house, and he tragically passed away from the head injuries that same night. His death was a shock to everyone. In a whirlwind, I was suddenly pulled into my first funeral in Uganda. My father-in-law was a very well known and respected head teacher and elder in the church. I saw hundreds of community members gather at the parent's home the next day as they grieved. We had come as early as we could in the morning to meet with the rest of Sam's family members at the home, where everyone would be staying together for several days. The next few days and nights were full of people coming, and some staying the night to keep vigil, even outside the home under tents when there wasn't room inside. A service was held at church, and then another service in the village the next day, where he would be buried. Over a thousand people were gathered to pay their respects and comfort the family on those days. As much as I saw the pain and grief in the eyes of Sam's family, I also saw their love and harmony and strength. I was proud to be united to this family as I heard them all say these words to one another, "it is well." My brother-in-law stood to speak for the family at the funeral. He came up after some politicians spoke, and he countered their poor words with grace: "As much as we respect these men who have stood here, we as a family do not agree with their speeches. We are not seeking revenge for our father's death, we have no desire to see these young men killed. If the police capture those who were involved in the attack, we are saying clearly today that their lives should be spared. And beyond that, we pray that they will come to repent and receive the saving grace of Jesus Christ. We forgive them." And the family all stood in solidarity in support of his words. I saw the love of God moving during those difficult days, and I pray that God will use even that terrible event for good.

It was amazing to see the outpouring of support from the community. Community relationships are valued more highly in Uganda than in America, and people are much more intimately involved in each other's lives. As great as this can be in many cases, there is also a downside. Gossip and rumors can be rampant, and people can invade spaces that I would consider private. Rumors started circulating soon after dad's death: politics, personal vendettas, business, etc... Being a white foreigner in an African country, I'm used to being stared at in public, and as unnerving as it can be, I can't change it. And when you add in a mixed baby, the attention is multiplied. So when we went to the village burial, and Sam already warned me about the large number of people who would attend, I expected to have many stares. What I didn't know until a few days later, was that there were other reasons for some of those stares. According to a few of the villagers, my husband apparently had a "first wife" and "first family" that he left to marry me. Now they say that he's forsaken them in order to have me. Of course, no one can tell you any specifics, because this lie is built on nothingness. During a clan discussion, a "half-sister" suddenly appeared out of nowhere and demanded recognition, only to slink away when the family told her they were willing to check the DNA evidence. Other lies also made the rounds. I was saddened to see that some people used this terrible situation to further their own agendas and try to stir up trouble. Again though, I was happy to see that the family handled it all with grace and unity. It wasn't the first time we encountered rumors, and I know it won't be the last. Some people in this world just like to talk, even if they have to make stories up just to have something to talk about. On a lighter note, something in our home has possibly made the local rumor rounds. Sam built us a small fireplace out of some bricks and sand, and we've used it a couple times to roast sausages. Since it's in the driveway, it's very visible when we open our gate and curious passersby are constantly peeping in. We've now had two friends who brought it up to us and asked us about our "altar." As someone who grew up camping and cooking on outside fireplaces, I didn't even think that someone wouldn't recognize it, especially as many people here cook on charcoal stoves outside. But I've now come to know that firepits are not common in Uganda. So Sam and I have had a good giggle thinking about how many neighbors are wondering what we do with our "altar."

I'm learning more about Uganda with every day that I live here. Though it's been hard to give up my timeline as we wait on the government to move, I'm seeing that the wait can actually be a very good thing. We have been able to connect more with people here, Sam can continue all of his ministries and he has the opportunity to train the mentors more to take over when it's time to go, we are thankful that we could be with the family after dad passed, and we are growing as a couple and as a family in this environment.

If you would like to pray with us, here are some prayer requests:

[ ] Continued grace and comfort as each family member goes through the grieving process, especially throughout this first year

[ ] Wisdom in how to parent our little one, and patience and grace for her and each other as we pass through the difficult stages and restless nights

[ ] That we stand as a united force, being able to witness to others through our love and marriage

[ ] Direction from God on where to go with our ministries, especially for me as I have stepped out of many things and I'm looking into what/ how/ when to reenter and start giving my time

[ ] Ministry finances: the various ministries run on our own finances with fundraisers from the children/ youth, and an occasional gift from our family. We would love to have consistent sponsors to support and grow the ministries

[ ] That we can figure out some solutions for our personal finances: since we have been here longer than planned, savings are depleted; and the little online work I was trying to do has stopped since our laptop was stolen in the home robbery the other year

[ ] Nicolette was granted an interview this summer at the embassy, so please pray that everything will go through fine and she will get her American citizenship and passport, and Ugandan visa to stay here

[ ] And lastly, that Sam will also get his visa interview soon, and he and Nicolette will finally get to meet the rest of my family in person